Recently, I’ve been working with a few businesses on how they can engage Veterans. The quick answer is that there is no quick answer.

 

Who Veterans are has changed drastically in the last century, since the days of the ‘boys in blue’, during WWI and WWII, when most able-bodied men served in one branch or another, or the darker times of the Vietnam War, when most men either served or actively opposed those who did. Reflecting on what Veterans look like this Veteran’s Day 2019, the picture is starkly different. We’re deeply embroiled in the longest active conflict in our Nation’s history, the War on Terror which has just turned 18. Young Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines enlisting today were not even alive the day the towers fell. We are 17% women, nearly 50% racial and ethnic minority groups, and while we are only recently beginning to acknowledge the service of the LGBTQ+ community, those numbers are growing as well.

 

After WWII, there was a giant, and very visible, veteran community in the United States, all willing to support each other. After the Vietnam War, when Veteran’s came home to vicious character assassination and lack of acceptance in the country, they built the VFW and American Legion, wore their combat stories on their hats and jackets, and met in small, dark rooms to support one another. These groups built an immense amount of political and commercial power in the USA. While the demographic changes have generally made the culture of the military a better and safer place for all, changing demographics and the larger culture-shift going on in the US has given us some different challenges when it comes to recognizing and supporting one another. Veterans today have that same level of commitment to one another that has always been forged out in warzones, and the same drive and innovation and boldness that makes for good business leaders and entrepreneurs. However, it’s become (in some ways) harder for us to recognize each other, and harder for the average American to recognize us.

 

A big focus in the Veteran community, and to address the question of how the country can best support Veterans, is by working to change the narrative on who Veterans are, what they look and act like, what challenges they are facing, and what benefits and special skills they bring to the table.

 

So, let’s start with, what does a veteran look like?

 

I’d like to ask you all to close your eyes, stare at the ceiling or floor, and picture the perfect post 9/11 Veteran to cast in a movie that you are directing. No matter how great of a person you are, how diverse and open-minded, when I’ve tested this out, the most likely image that comes first to mind is a man—most likely tall, blonde, white and under 40, with plenty of bulging muscles, steely blue eyes and a jaw that can cut glass. And it’s okay that that is the picture. 1) That’s the main picture that the media shows us. 2) These veterans do exist—one just like that lives in my house, eats all my food, and has promised to love me forever. He’s retiring next year after 20 years of service, 18 during a time of war, and certainly deserves all the honors.

 

But we also look like this:

 

For the first time in history, there is a female 4-star General commanding an infantry division

 

Colleen Farrell—Caucasian American Woman; one of the very first Marine women in ground combat and one of 4 women brave enough to sue the Secretary of Defense to repeal the combat ban on women. She helps run the Pacific Science Center now and is an amazing activist in Washington State. 

 

Aaron Barnes—African-American Man; award winning business owner of Keto Butta and leader in the community 

 

Dan Kanivas—Asian-American Man; attended Harvard and Berkeley, runs a successful financial consulting firm 

 

Lindsay Church—Causcasian-American Womxn; Navy veteran who resigned as President of the American Legion to start rapidly growing non-profit Minority Veterans of America 

 

Shellie Willis—African-American Woman; Retired Army Master Sergeant; CEO of the Redefining You Foundation, to help women who serve and transition differently 

 

Jason Cavness—Caucasian-American Man; Retired US Army Officer and the Founder of cavnessHR, the HR tech company who’s site you are reading this on 

 

Marjorie Eastman—Caucasian-American Woman; Author of book The Frontline Generation, defining an entire generation of those who raised their hands to serve after terrorists changed our world forever. 

 

Linh Thai—Asian-American Man; who runs the Mission Continues in Seattle, where veterans can continue to volunteer and serve the community 

 

And Alfie Alvarado-Ramos—Puerto-Rican American Woman; Director of the Washington Department of Veterans Affairs 

 

And this is just a small sampling of people from the Seattle Area. You get the picture. It was hard for me to choose which faces to show here, because I could literally go forever.

 

Changing the narrative, changing these stereotypes is so important for our community. Unfortunately, often times, the Veterans that look like my husband get to feel accepted everywhere they go. They don’t have their service questioned. Well-meaning civilians often express interest, or shock, with the service of minority veterans, and they don’t realizing what they are unintendedly messaging. Every time my husband and I attend an event where he is thanked for his service, while I am told that “I don’t look like a Soldier”, I’m forced to justify my service in a way that he is not. In 2019, Veterans look like everything and everything! While nobody usually means harm, telling people any version of “you don’t seem like a veteran” is not as innocent as it sounds.

 

Once you realize that changing the narrative is important, that the media messaging doesn’t give us the full picture, then it becomes easier to see what we need to do to engage Veterans—we need to look for them everywhere, in all walks of life, and connect with them authentically, as humans first. You’ll find us in your churches, your preschools, your conference tables, your neighborhood groups and your Fortune 500 directors and presidents.

 

So, what is a Veteran Looking for?

 

This one is actually a little easier to talk about. Of course, we all have different perspectives and think differently, but mostly we have some significant things in common

1) We all went through an experience that changed us drastically, and we can’t go back. Because of this, we are all looking for connection—others who think like us and share our values.

2) We all miss the military—even if we hated some of it or were or are angry about some of our experiences, it wasn’t all bad. On the outside, we tend to have a fondness for the experiences that we went through, and we tend to believe that we will never find that same level of camaraderie on the outside. Helping veterans find a new community, a new brotherhood, is one of the BEST things that communities and organizations can do to help engage veterans.

3) We all want a new mission and sense of purpose—no matter why people joined the military, the value of service was inculcated into us during our time in. Right, wrong or indifferent, we got used to going to work everyday believing that we were changing the world or making it better. We often have a very hard time fitting into ‘regular jobs’, where we feel like we are just making money for the man. Communities that help veterans get involved with entrepreneurship, volunteering, politics and more can end up with more skilled, dedicated and emotionally engaged personnel than they ever realized.

4) We’re all hurting--we’ve left something that was once a big part of our lives, most of us can’t go back, and we’ve all lost loved ones in 18 years of war—so we’re all mourning deep down, our experience, our friends, our connections.

 

Some Tips for engaging Veterans

• Don’t sugar coat things—we won’t either
• If we do some process you don’t understand—ask us to explain why (we don’t always realize that it’s weird, and we LOVE telling war stories)
• Help us translate
• Find veterans in ‘their spaces’ and then invite them to your spaces
• Host things that focus on Veterans not during the months of May or November
• Specifically include Veterans in non-veteran events, panels, speaking engagements, etc. (It’s just another career, LOB)—Flying Heritage museum panel
• Veterans are great at finding other veterans, so put them to work for you
• Find the women! We’re community organizers, and many of us are married to other veterans

 

 

DANIELLA YOUNG IS A TEDX SPEAKER, AN AUTHOR, COMBAT VETERAN, BOARD MEMBER OF OPERATION CODE, & THE CO-FOUNDER OF CAVNESSHR—AN HR-TECH COMPANY WHO’S MISSION IS TO MAKE BIG-BUSINESS HR AVAILABLE TO SMALL BUSINESSES, THROUGH INNOVATIVE SAAS AND VIRTUAL CONSULTING. DANIELLA SPECIALIZES IN HELPING BUSINESSES CREATE CULTURE ROADMAPS, LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT PLANS & EFFECT TEAM TRANSFORMATION. WANT TO LEARN MORE? VISIT OUR WEBSITE AT cavnesshr.com.

 

TUNE IN ON FACEBOOK EVERY TUESDAY AT 2:30 CENTRAL FOR A LIVE DISCUSSION OF THIS WEEK'S BLOG TOPIC WITH DANIELLA. 

 

CLICK HERE TO SCHEDULE AN INTRO CALL WITH DANIELLA.

 

YOU CAN WATCH DANIELLA’S TEDX TALK, LOST IN TRANSITION, HERE & READ HER UNBELIEVABLE BACKGROUND STORY PUBLISHED IN NARRATIVELY MAGAZINE HERE. 

 

YOU CAN FOLLOW HER ON TWITTER, OR CONNECT WITH HER ON LINKEDIN.